lifestyle// there is hope

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

There is hope and it is alive.

I can't believe its almost three years since I posted a status to Facebook opening up about depression-

''I've have depression for four years now. I'm not gonna keep it a secret any more. I only have done so because of the stigma around mental health. Its the reason I miss so much school. It takes so much away from me, its not my fault but why should I feel ashamed to have it? I've been in hospital twice for long periods of time. I'm not going to lie about it any more. I'm going to be as open as I can, because a lot of people are effected with this illness or know some one who has it. I'm not looking for sympathy just trying to raise awareness of how common it is. Here's to the start of being open about depression!''

I've come along way since the spontaneous Facebook post that received an overwhelming response. I was in disbelief as to how supportive people were. When I posted that status I was in a bad place in my life and couldn't see any future for myself. I was in hospital at the time and never once did I imagine a day where I'd be content and happy. All I wanted was to be happy, but it's such an unrealistic goal. I should have said, all I wanted was to be able to get up in the morning and do simple everyday tasks. These kind of tasks that others take for granted. I couldn't face getting out of bed in the morning let alone tackle a whole day in school.

I don't want to go into too much detail about my past of what I suffered. I do not want any kind of sympathy or pity. Now I want to send a message. That message is 'Hope'. I am unable to begin to describe how much of a better place I am in life now. I never thought I'd see this day. I never believed I would be capable of feeling content. It has been a long journey but I want to let everyone know that is does get better. If someone told me three years ago that 'it gets better', I would have genuinely laughed in their face. I still have tough times and bad things still happen. But there is hope. Eventually you begin to see hope in the littlest things in life.

Anyone out there who feels lost and misunderstood, this is your sign. You are not alone. Talk to someone, anyone. There is no doubt in my mind, that one day you will look back on how you are feeling now and feel so hopeful about your future. The more we get people to talk about mental health, the easier people will find it to come forward and ask for help. We live in a country where it is shameful to be admit you have a problem. We have to keep the conversation of mental health going. It is not your fault.

Lastly I just want to reiterate the message of hope. It will get better. I'm not jumping for joy every second of everyday, but I'm living my life. I'm moving on and you can too. Please believe in the message of Hope. We only ever seem to talk about mental health when someone bad happens, asking ourselves why didn't the person reach out to anyone. We need to make our country a place where it's okay to talk about such things.

Thank you if you took the time to read this! It's something very different from my usual blog post. But I felt with the leaving cert coming up tomorrow, stress levels are high across the country, that this was as good a time as any. I just want everyone out there who's feeling hopeless to believe me for one second that hope will come back to you. I want to help as many people as I can. If I can be open to the whole internet, you can tell just one person that you're not feeling the best.
You are strong.